An abuser has no color, no shape, no certain look. Its very important to pay attention to an what an abuser can look like.
1. Charming.
Initially, he showers his woman with praise, adoration, and attention. His courtship is sweet and intense filled with phrases such as, “I can’t live without you.” He quickly pushes for an exclusive relationship or engagement. He
2. Jealous.
He views other men as a threat to the relationship and accuses you of flirting with everyone from his brother to the mailman. “I know you are looking at him.” The irony is that he often is the one who is cheating. OMG I experienced this all the time.
3. Manipulative.
This man is very intelligent. He knows how to detect your weak spots, and he uses your vulnerability and past pain to his advantage.
4. Controlling.
He wants to know where you are going and who you are with at ALL TIMES. He will go as far as checking the mileage on your car, following you to work, etc
5. A Victim.
His poor choices are everyone else’s fault. When he loses his job, gets into a fight, or a business deal falls through, it’s always because of the other person. He is never at fault. “You make me hit you.”. This is their number one comment that every time they hit you, its YOUR FAULT
6. Narcissistic.
The whole world revolves around him. As the “little woman who is beneath him,” it is your job to meet his every need. He is the master; you are the unworthy slave. It’s invigorating for him to know that everyone around him “walks on eggshells.”
7. Inconsistent.
Mood swings are a common trait for an abuser. One minute he seems happy and sweet, the next he is pounding his fist.
8. Critical.
No matter how hard you try you will never be able to satisfy this kind of man. He thinks nothing of degrading and verbally assaulting you. “You are a stupid, fat, disgusting tramp. You can never leave me. No other man would have you.”
9. Disconnected.
His main goal is to isolate his victim from family and friends so that you are totally dependant on him. “Your family causes too much trouble for us. I don’t want you seeing them anymore.”. they will keep you from your family, friends at all times because they don't want you to realize or get from others that you are being abused
10. Very Sensitive
The slightest offense sends him ranting. Everyone is out to “get him.”. This is very common
11. Very Mean and Cruel
He will have no problem telling you “I’ll kill you before I’ll let you go. If I can’t have you, no one will.” You need to take this VERY SERIOUS
If at ANY GIVEN time you are experiencing this type of behavior you can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE, or locate a safe house in your community.
This is NOT love. Pay attention to who it is you are loving.
I Love you and Remember STAY BEAUTIFUL